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Toddler Discipline

This photo is licensed under cc by sa 2.0 by superhua

Let's start off this section by first looking at what toddler discipline really is. There are many variations on the concept of discipline, including rules, training the mind, controlling behaviour and even punishment.

However the basic definition of discipline is to teach someone to obey rules and control their own behaviour.

Toddler discipline is predominantly about teaching toddlers how to behave and encouraging desirable behaviour, rather than about stopping bad behaviour.

The goal of disciplining your toddler should be to teach your toddler to want to behave in a desirable way, of their own will.

As the parent of a toddler, you probably feel like you say 'no' or 'don't' so many times in a day that you can't keep count. So how does saying 'no' countless times in a day really teach your toddler how to control her behaviour, or help her learn to want to behave desirably?

In my opinion, this constant negativity will only have an adverse effect and will not teach her the inner control that is such an important part of toddler discipline.

Now don't get me wrong - I'm no saint-like mother! I too am very much guilty of over-using this two-letter word which should almost be banned among us parents (why do you think your toddler says 'no' so often? I wonder where she gets it from).

Being Positive is the Key...

Instead of being negative by saying 'no' or 'don't' all the time, give simple reasons for why you don't want your toddler to do something.

For example, it's better to say "when the door is closed it will keep the room warm" than to say "don't open the door".

I know that this can be difficult when you've reached the end of your tether, but for the sake of the mental health of both yourself and your toddler, you should make an effort to do this.

On the one hand, you shouldn't set unrealistic standards either for yourself or your toddler though, and you shouldn't expect too much from her at this stage in her life.

On the other hand, if you don't start disciplining your toddler now, you'll find that it becomes much harder for her to learn, and for you to deal with her behaviour as she gets older.

Remember too that toddlers will be toddlers. They are at an 'in between' age where they are no longer babies, yet they are not quite children.

Toddlers are not naughty on purpose, and most times her misbehaviour can be credited to her inability to think ahead - she's just too young!

Perhaps consider this the next time you tell her off for knocking over a crystal vase (which you probably should have put away til she gets older anyway!)

Another thing to note is that it's common for you to have a different way of disciplining your toddler to that of your partner and other family members.

This is probably a result of the different parenting styles which each of you were brought up with; you are likely to treat your toddler in a similar disciplinary style which you received as a child.

You, your life partner, or parents may all handle the same situation differently, which I think is fine - as long as there is some consistency in it.

You will need to discuss this with the others (of course not in front of your toddler) so that your authority remains effective, as you are the primary role model in her life.

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