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Toddler Development

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There is no doubt that in the first three years of your toddler's life, you will see rapid and remarkable development take place.

Your once immobile baby is now suddenly a capable adventurer, explorer, investigator and risk-taker - ready to take on the world!

One of the most rewarding things about being a parent is the ability to bring out the best in your child, and there is no better time than in the toddler years to do so.

Babies and toddlers are like sponges - they absorb so much. Because of this, their progress is so rapid that it often leaves you standing in awe of this miraculous product of God's creation.

Yes, I know you've done it many a time. You stand there silently gazing at your little one, unwittingly smiling from ear to ear as you watch her do something that she could not do the day before. And you think to yourself, "What a miracle have I created"

Although there will inevitably be testing times in the toddler years, it is extremely important not to lose your patience. If impatience is one of your flaws, you will need to work on that trait, or better still, lose it altogether - because bringing out the best in your toddler as she develops requires that you have patience. And plenty of it.

There are several aspects of toddler development, including:

Let's Talk About Love, Baby, Let's Talk About You and Me...

Has anyone ever told you that you shouldn't be over-affectionate and 'smother' your child with love, because if you do, she is at risk of being 'spoilt'?

And that you also should not respond to her every need because she will become too emotionally dependent and will not learn independence?

Well, I think this advice couldn't be more wrong! From my point of view, the more love and affection you give your toddler, the more secure she will feel and the more independent she will become. This is the complete opposite to the above theory. Sorry if you think that way!

Your toddler can't feel secure if you don't show her enough love and affection, and thus she will tend to be clingy. She will be more dependent on you because she might feel insecure about your love.

Now please don't get me wrong - I'm not accusing parents around the globe of not giving enough love and affection. All I'm saying is that clinginess may be caused by withholding affection because you're afraid it might 'spoil' your toddler...

You can never love her too much.

If your toddler is going through a stage of separation anxiety, this can be distressing for both you and your toddler. However, the fact that your toddler is experiencing this indicates that she has bonded well with you.

Keep in mind that it is a natural stage of toddler development which will ease itself as your toddler gradually realises that you are a separate entity from her (she didn't understand this concept when she was a baby), and that she can come and go independently.

I think that your toddler will benefit immensely from you spending time to do things with her, rather than ignoring her to concentrate on things you want or "just have" to do, for example household chores.

I know that this is challenging in our fast-paced world, especially if you are in full time paid work and you are utterly exhausted by the time you get home from work. I know how you feel, because I was in the same boat a few years ago. I learned over time that the chores can wait, but my toddler can't. I've realised that it's not enough just to put a roof over your toddler's head, provide her with good food, bathe her, and change her nappies - her physical needs.

As a parent, I believe that it is just as important, if not more important, to attend to your toddler's emotional and intellectual needs as well as her physical needs.

Talk About Anything and Everything...

When your tot is about three years old, "Why?" will almost certainly become her favourite word (second to "No" of course!). Now instead of thinking to yourself that this is annoying the heck out of you (like when she asks you "why can birds fly and we can't?", for the twenty-third time today) try to remember that if your child is curious, she has an active mind.

So if she asks you "why?" about twenty times in fifteen minutes, believe it or not, this is a good thing!

How Meaningful are Those Milestones?

When should you worry about the development of your toddler? Some instances where I would be concerned are:

If you are worried about your toddler's development in any way, you should discuss with your family doctor what your concerns are and what you have observed.

The sooner you do this the better, because it is much easier to deal with a (potential) problem in its early stages rather than wait until it becomes unmanageable.

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