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Sibling Rivalry

This photo is licensed under cc by sa 2.0 by acornchief

Sibling rivalry refers to the jealousy, teasing, fighting, meanness, and especially competitiveness between brothers and sisters. In most cases the competition is a result of a desire for more attention from parents.

Keep Your Eyes on Me, Mummy!

Whether your toddler is the older or the younger child, sibling rivalry is inevitable in one form or another, in most families where there are two or more children.

Unless you have two children with a huge age gap in between, you can expect the sibling rivalry to arise at any time. It's a good idea to deal with it rather than waste your energy constantly trying to avoid it.

If your toddler is the older child, and her life has been "disrupted" by a new addition to the family (to whom she did not even give prior permission to join the family), and to whom all the attention is now directed towards, don't be surprised if she goes back to doing 'baby things'.

Examples are wetting herself (even though already toilet-trained), baby-talk, and waking at night again. She may even refuse to eat, have more tantrums, and engage in other forms of attention-seeking behaviour.

I'm aware that dealing with sibling rivalry is easier said than done. Uncooperative behaviour and regular fights between your children are very irritating and can easily drive you mad!

Here is a suggested peacekeeping plan:

Can't Live With Them, Can't Live Without Them...

Doesn't it seem like they can't bear to be apart from their sibling, but when they are together, they fight and compete?

I observe this often with my two daughters. At some stage, they were both toddlers at the same time. ("Eeek!", you say). Well despite my eldest now being 5 and my younger one 2, this strange kind of behaviour still goes on.

It Takes Two to Tangle...

But when little sis was discharged from hospital, what do you think happened the minute she came home...

...a tug o' war involving a toy that neither of them really liked in the first place, and a screaming contest that could be heard from the house down the road.

It was just a competition to see who would win the prize toy, and who could scream the loudest - forget the fact that neither of them was really interested in playing with the toy.

Now let me tell you that neither of them ended up with the toy, and it was I who ended up playing tug o' war with my hair and I who won the screaming contest!

Sound familiar?

Double the Trouble, Double the Rewards

Having a sibling to live with, to play with and to love is a very valuable experience for your toddler. The relationship teaches them a lot about life and makes them better able to cope in this great big world.

For most toddlers, a brother or sister offers tremendous benefits. They learn important social skills and all about relationships with others through interaction with their siblings.

Toddlers become aware of other people's feelings, they learn how to share, and begin to understand the concept of cooperation from having a built-in playmate.

Your toddler's brother or sister is her's for life, whereas other little playmates come and go. No matter how intense the sibling rivalry is between your little darlings, they will both forget certain incidents in no time at all, and best of all, will remain friends for a lifetime.

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